Brain-Twisting Paradox

In a small town in America, a person decided to open up his bar
business, which was right opposite to a church. The church & its
congregation started a campaign to block the bar from opening with
petitions and prayed daily against his business.

Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to
open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the bar and it was
burnt to the ground. The church folk were rather smug in their outlook
after that, till The bar owner sued the church authorities for
$2million on the grounds that the church through its congregation &
prayers was ultimately responsible For the demise of his bar shop,
either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all
responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to
the bar shop’s demise. In support of their claim they referred to the
Benson study at Harvard that inter-cessionary prayer had no impact !

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the
paperwork and at the hearing and commented:

‘I don’t know how I am going to decide this case, but it appears from
the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer
and we have an entire church and its devotees that doesn’t.’

Homer Simpson paradox
Homer Simpson paradox

Albert Einstein : Famous Quotes and Sayings

Top 10 of Albert Einstein quotes

Albert Einstein (Author of Relativity)
Albert Einstein (Author of Relativity)

10- “Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.”

9- “The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.”

8- “I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”

7- “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.”

6- “Never memorize something that you can look up.”

5- “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”

4- “Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”

3- “If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.”

2- “The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

1- “Any fool can know. The point is to understand.”

Laziness : Quotes and Sayings

lazy
A lazy person, whatever the talents with which he set out, will have condemned himself to second-hand thoughts and to second-rate friends.

A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two things. There will be sleeping enough in the grave.

A loafer always has the correct time.

A young man idle, an old man needy.

Absorption in ease is one of the most reliable signs of present or impending decay.

By doing nothing we learn to do ill.

Failure is not our only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others.

He also who is slack in his work is brother to him who destroys.

I slip from workaholic to bum real easy.

I’m barely prolific and incredibly lazy.

If a man will not work, he shall not eat.

If you’re coasting, you’re either losing momentum or else you’re headed downhill.

Quote Bullet It is better to sit down than to stand, it is better to lie down than to sit, but death is the best of all.
Indian Proverb

Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.

Laziness grows on people; it begins in cobwebs and ends in iron chains. The more one has to do, the more he is able to accomplish.

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

Laziness never arrived at the attainment of a good wish.

Laziness travels so slowly that poverty soon overtakes him.

Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

Lazy people are always anxious to be doing something.

Woops Sorry About That Bob

hospital bed cartoon
Bob, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Bob’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Bob’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Bob motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Bob. But before he had a chance to read the note, Bob died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Bob died he handed me a note, and knowing Bob I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!

Vacation Hotel : For Women Only

women only

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.”

Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works.

“We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.”

The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men here have it short and thin.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here have it long and thin.” Still, this isn’t good enough so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here have it short and thick.” They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here have it long and thick.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”

Agnes married and had 13 children

When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children.

Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children.

After, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,

Lord, theyre finally together. One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, “Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?” The friend replied, “I think he means her legs.”

Adam and Eve Joke

adam eveExistence was so tranquil and peaceful for the young couple Adam and Eve, like straight out of a story book, until one unfortunate day when Adam showed up one hour late for supper.

By the time Adam finally came home Eve was a nervous wreck, and her imagination was working overtime.

“Honey, what happened? Why are you home so late?” Questioned Eve.
“Oh I’m sorry! Adam responded with a wave of his hand, “I just lost track of the time.”

Now Eve didn’t have a Mother or girlfriend around to calm her fears, after all it was just her and her Husband and despite Adam’s convincing act her overactive imagination could not be calmed.

That night after two hours of restlessly turning in her bed, enough was enough. “WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING!

Hollered Adam jumping out of bed. “YOU KNOW DARN WELL WHAT I’M DOING” Screamed Eve right back, “NOW YOU BETTER LAY STILL RIGHT NOW, AND LET ME FINISH COUNTING THOSE RIBS!

Man VS Woman : Pick-up Lines

womanvsman

Man – Haven’t I seen you someplace before?

Woman – Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

 

Man – Can I buy you a drink?

Woman – I think I’d rather have the money!

 

Man – Will you go out with me this Saturday?

Woman – Sorry, I’m having a headache this weekend.

Man – Is this seat empty?

Woman – Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

 

Man – So what do you do for a living?

Woman – I’m a female impersonator.

 

Only the female mosquito bites

mosquito

Only the female mosquito bites, the male mosquito survives on nectar. Futhermore, the female mosquito bites larger organisms to acquire Estrogen! She requires blood to produce eggs. Her mouthparts are constructed so that they pierce the skin, literally sucking the blood out.