James Bond’s Telepathically Watch

James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives the woman a quick glance and then casually takes a look at his watch. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies. “Q’s just given me a state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it out.”

Intrigued, the woman asks, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

Bond coolly explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk telepathically.”

The lady says, “So what’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties,” says Bond.

The woman giggles and replies, “Well, it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

Bond shakes his head, taps his watch and says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”

13 is an unlucky number

keep-calm-and-love-number-13
The insane reason for many buildings not having a 13th floor, airline and bus seats not having a 13th row, and Friday the 13th being considered an unlucky day.

In the late 1800s, there was a group called The Thirteen Club. Their purpose was to debunk the legend that seating 13 people at a table would result in the death of one of them in the year to follow. They met on the 13th of the month and had dinner 13 people to a table, and to make matters worse, they purposely spilled salt on the table without throwing it over their shoulders. The horror! They also fined members who showed up late — 13 cents, of course. Members of the club included five U.S. presidents: Benjamin Harrison, Grover Cleveland, William McKinley, Theodore Roosevelt and Chester A. Arthur. I’m not sure if it’s worth noting that two of these presidents were shot — one fatally, of course — but I’ll mention it anyway. And, if you’re keeping track, Chester A. Arthur only became president because he was vice when Garfield was assassinated.

Jobs Celebrities Held Before They Were Famous

1.) Cindy Crawford
Crawford made some sweet moolah by shucking corn before she became the face of Pepsi.
2.) George Clooney
Before he was the recipient of the sexiest man alive award, George cut tobacco in Kentucky.
3.) Howard Stern
The shock jock of the century once worked as an ice cream truck driver before getting his radio start.
4.) Rachel McAdams
This Mean Girl worked at McDonald’s before her acting career took off.
5.) Hugh Jackman
Quit clowning around! I won’t, Jackman worked as a clown at children’s parties before making it big.
6.) Amy Adams
This enchanting star once was a Hooters waitress while trying to save up to buy a car.
7.) Brad Pitt
Brad used to dress up in a chicken costume to advertise El Pollo Loco.
8.) Whoopi Goldberg
Goldberg once held a job as a mortuary beautician, aka putting make up on dead bodies for funerals.
9.) Channing Tatum
Maybe it wasn’t all magic, but practice. Tatum worked as a stripper before getting his big break.
10.) Tom Cruise
Going up? Tom used to work as a hotel bellhop.
11.) Christopher Walken
Walken was once employed by the circus, even doing a little dabbling in the lion taming business.
12.) Simon Baker
This Aussie was once a seedy time share salesman.
13.) Ray Romano
Before everyone loved him, Ray was a futon delivery boy.
14.) Rod Stewart
Stewart had quite the creepy job, he worked as a grave digger.
15.) John Hamm
Before Hamm was a mega-famous actor he had a less glamorous job. He was the set dresser for porn films.

IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one’s teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

Think about it first before looking below for the answer…

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He opens his mouth and says, “I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses”.

If you got this wrong- please turn off your computer and call it a night.

guess it’s time for me to also power down…

All the matter that makes up the human race could fit in a sugar cube

Atoms are 99.9999999999999% empty space.
If you forced all the atoms together, removing the space between them, crushing them down, a single teaspoon or sugar cube of the resulting mass would weigh five billion tons; about ten times the weight of all the humans who are currently alive.
Incidentally, that is exactly what has happened in a neutron star, the super-dense mass left over after a certain kind of supernova.

How to be a woman from movies ?

super womens

  • Women working in hospitals or the police force all get up in the morning, professionally blow dry their hair and let it swoosh seductively around their faces all day.
  • Women can be stuck on a desert island, underground, or in outer space and their underarm hair will never grow.
  • Women can run fast, perform martial arts moves and climb ladders in heels.
  • Women will emerge from the ocean, walking slowly and will not stumble awkwardly as the waves break behind them and they trudge over soft wet sand.
  • Women get wet in the rain making their hair look damp and sexy, their lips shinier, their cheeks more dewy. Mascara does not run, lipstick does not fade.
  • Women break their waters and have their baby only after a mad disorganised rush to the hospital 15 minutes later.
  • Women are always secretly waiting for their man to ask them to marry him, they prefer not to discuss these major life decisions prior to the man actually proposing but will have already decided on the style of wedding anyway.
  • Women love animals, especially dogs, like to bake cupcakes, drink cocktails and wine but never beer, always wear matching underwear sets, and adore pillow fights in pastel coloured pyjamas.
  • Women all have gay male best buddies that have nothing better to do then listen to them whine about men they have dated and always have fashion advice for them.

 

Rubik’s cube – Interesting facts and numbers

If you made a single turn of one of the Rubik’s cube face in one second,it would take you 1.4 trillion years to go through all the possible configuration.
(The universe itself is only 14 billion years old).

The number of possible combinations of Rubik’s Cube is 43,252,003,274,489,856,000

Considering one move per second it takes
43,252,003,274,489,856,000 seconds, which is approximately equal to
1.37e12 years.  (one trillion = 1,000,000,000,000).

 

A man and a woman are making love, when her husband comes home

“Quick, hide!” she says, so the man grabs his clothes and jumps into the closet. The man hears the hushed voice of a young boy.

“Sure is dark in here.”

“Indeed it is,” the man responds.

“I have a baseball,” says the boy.

“That’s nice,” he says.

“I’ll sell it to you for $50.”

“$50? That’s a little steep for a baseball, son.”

“Well, my dad has a shotgun. Wanna see that?”

“Tell you what, you have yourself a deal,” says the man, and he pays the kid $50.

A week later, the man and the woman are having sex, when once again the woman’s husband comes home early. Grabbing his clothes, the man jumps into the closet.

“Sure is dark in here,” says the boy.

“Oh, it’s you again.”

“I have a baseball glove.”

“Alright, how much do you want for it?”

“$700.”

“$700? That’s absurd!”

“Well, my dad has a shotgun. Would you rather see that?”

“Alright, alright, $700,” so he pays the kid.

That Sunday, the father says to his son, “Go get your mitt, let’s throw the ball around.”

The boy says, “I can’t, Dad. I sold my ball and glove.”

“For how much?” he asks.

“$750.”

“$750? Son, it’s wrong to rip off your friends. I’m taking you to church for confession.”

They drive to church and the boy kneels in the confession booth.

“Sure is dark in here,” he says.

The priest says, “Don’t start that s#!t again.”