Eye test for driver’s license

Eye test
Eye test

A Polish immigrant goes to a Motor Vehicles branch to apply for a driver’s license and has to take an eye test. The optician shows him a card with the letters:

C Z W I X N O S T A C Z

“Can you read this?” the optician asks.

“Read it?” the Polish guy replies,”Hell I know the guy!”

God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy…

A father put his 3year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying,
“God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa.”

The father asked, ‘Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?’

The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”

The next day grandpa died.
The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this,
“God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma.”

The next day the grandmother died.

“Holy crap” thought the father, “this kid is in contact with the other side.”

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, “God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy.”

He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said,
“I’ve never seen you work so late. What’s the matter?”

He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”

She said, “You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning my boss died in the middle of a meeting.

Iceland “Fourth Happiest Nation” in the world

The heartbreaking fact is, 99.9956% people of the world’s population don’t live in Iceland.

The most sparsely populated country in Europe
Nordic island nation between the North Atlantic and the Arctic Ocean. It has a population of 325,671 and an area of 103,000 km²

1) Iceland has no army and is also recognized as world’s most peaceful country.

2) Iceland is the most sparsely populated country in Europe.

3) Life expectancy is 81.3 years for women and 76.4 for men– one of the highest in the world.

4) An international study done in 2006 ranked Iceland as the “Fourth Happiest Nation” in the world.

5) Icelanders value literacy and hold the world record for number of books per capita.

Why the long face … Jokes

A horse walks into a bar….

Barman: Why the long face?
Horse: I found out this morning that I have cancer.
Barman: Oh Dave, on your birthday of all days.

A horse walks into a bar….

Barman: Why the long face?
Horse: I have liver disease.
Barman: Oh Dave, I partly feel responsible.

Philosophical Quotes and Thoughts

The best philosophical quotes smart thoughts, Quotations from philosophers , smart sayings and tips about everything; world, life, living love, joy…

beautiful love

  • Become genuinely interested in others.
  • Use others names.
  • Limitless kindness towards all beings;
  • Limitless compassion for the suffering of all beings;
  • Sympathetic joy in the happiness and liberation of others;
  • Equanimity toward all, seeing friend and foe in the same light.
  • Make others feel important.
  • Be a good listener.
  • Nothing really matters in life unless it is done for others.
  • Become acquainted with every art.
  • Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters.
  • Develop Intuitive judgement and understanding for everything.
  • Perceive those things which cannot be seen.
  • Pay attention to everything.
  • Do nothing which is of no use.
  • Don’t judge others.
  • Feel comfortable with others.
  • What you are doing NOW matters!
  • Your life is governed much by self image and emotion.
  • God is the greatest.

The smartest person is the one who realizes how much they don’t know

  • Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75. —Benjamin Franklin

  • Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions. Their lives a mimicry. Their passions a quotation. — Oscar Wilde

  • Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying. —Arthur C. Clark

  •  Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. — Albert Einstein

  • Of all sad words of mouth or pen, the saddest are these: it might have been. — John Greenleaf Whittier

  • I fear not the man who has practised 10,000 kicks, but I do fear the man who has practised one kick 10,000 times. Bruce Lee

  • And when you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. — Friedrich Nietzsche

  • Don’t let schooling interfere with your education-Mark Twain

  • A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on. — John F. Kennedy

  • It is no measure of health to be well—adjusted to a profoundly sick society. — Jiddu Krisnamurti

  • Every man dies, but not every man truly lives. — William Wallace

  • Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. — Plato

  • Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go. ― Oscar Wilde

  • Have I not destroyed my enemy when I have made him into my friend? — Abraham Lincoln

  • To love is to recognize yourself in another. – Eckhart Tolle

  • Prejudices are rarely overcome by argument; not being founded in reason they cannot be destroyed by logic. — Tryon Edwards

  •  If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea. —Antoine de Saint—Exupery

  • They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. — Benjamin Franklin

  • Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money. — Indian Proverb

  • And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. –Kahlil Gibran

  • Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough. – William Saroyan

  • When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. ― John Lennon

  • Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. ― Albert Einstein

  • As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves. ― Mahatma Gandhi

  • The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed. — Ernest Hemingway

  • In a closed society where everybody’s guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity. ― Hunter S. Thompson

  • Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. ― Dwight D. Eisenhower

  • Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. – Lao Tzu

  • Dalai Llama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, said: “ Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

  • I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off ― Chuck Palahniuk